hathor_girl: Sam/Martouf desert B/W (Sam/Martouf desert B/W)
[personal profile] hathor_girl posting in [community profile] tokra_kree
Title: She loves him
Characters: Sam, Jack, Daniel, Teal'c, Hammond, Martouf/Lantash
Pairings: Minor hints of Sam/Jack, Sam/Martouf/Lantash
Category: Angst, adventure, drama
Warnings: Character death (temporary)
Summary: Jack saw how devastated Sam was over Martouf/Lantash's death, saw how she cried when she held them. She may not be willing to admit she loves them, but it is obvious to her friends, and Jack decides to save Martouf/Lantash so Sam will be happy.
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: 193. SG-1, Samantha Carter/Martouf|Lantash, When Sam shot Martouf|Lantash in D&C, Jack watched and realized that Sam loves Martouf|Lantash. He decides to somehow rescue them so his teammate will be happy.
Notes: This is not for Sam/Jack shippers. Written from Jack's POV.

LJ | DW | Symbiotica

(I didn't post to either AO3 or Fanfiction.net. That's on purpose, since I've gotten too many unpleasant flames there recently and I just know that this story will attract them - better stick to sites where you can only comment if you're logged in.)

Review

Date: 2015-07-25 23:27 (UTC)
From: [personal profile] anthropos_agnostos
Sorry to hear about your harassment on ff.net. I hope you will choose to continue your A Different Beginning fic.

As for this story, although I congratulate you on finding a way to resurrect Martouf/Lantash without resorting to some handwaviumn or deus ex machina (at least I don't think the sarcophagus counts as a deus ex machina from a story-telling perspective) I feel you missed some great opportunity for more suspense. For example, instead of having Jack resurrect Martouf/Lantash you could have had Apophis find Marty in storage and, recognizing him as one of his brainwashed agents, revive him. So once SG-1 + Jacob see that Martouf/Lantash are with Apophis they would not know whether he is still brainwashed like Teal'c or whether he is just pretending. The big reveal could come when Apophis orders Marty to "redeem himself" for his failure to stop the Tok'Ra-Earth treaty by killing SG-1... and he helps them escape instead.

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