Sorry to hear about your harassment on ff.net. I hope you will choose to continue your A Different Beginning fic.
As for this story, although I congratulate you on finding a way to resurrect Martouf/Lantash without resorting to some handwaviumn or deus ex machina (at least I don't think the sarcophagus counts as a deus ex machina from a story-telling perspective) I feel you missed some great opportunity for more suspense. For example, instead of having Jack resurrect Martouf/Lantash you could have had Apophis find Marty in storage and, recognizing him as one of his brainwashed agents, revive him. So once SG-1 + Jacob see that Martouf/Lantash are with Apophis they would not know whether he is still brainwashed like Teal'c or whether he is just pretending. The big reveal could come when Apophis orders Marty to "redeem himself" for his failure to stop the Tok'Ra-Earth treaty by killing SG-1... and he helps them escape instead.
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
Review
Date: 2015-07-25 23:27 (UTC)As for this story, although I congratulate you on finding a way to resurrect Martouf/Lantash without resorting to some handwaviumn or deus ex machina (at least I don't think the sarcophagus counts as a deus ex machina from a story-telling perspective) I feel you missed some great opportunity for more suspense. For example, instead of having Jack resurrect Martouf/Lantash you could have had Apophis find Marty in storage and, recognizing him as one of his brainwashed agents, revive him. So once SG-1 + Jacob see that Martouf/Lantash are with Apophis they would not know whether he is still brainwashed like Teal'c or whether he is just pretending. The big reveal could come when Apophis orders Marty to "redeem himself" for his failure to stop the Tok'Ra-Earth treaty by killing SG-1... and he helps them escape instead.